don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
