oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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