i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i think my cat just said my name.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
