Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Your dad touched me again.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Operation Purity has been aborted
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Randomize
