This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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