Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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