feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
