singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
