party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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