glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
