why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
