hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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