Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
