Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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