you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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