Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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