new low.... made out with someone while peeing
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
