her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
