id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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