Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
