'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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