Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
