why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
