I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
