Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
