Your dad touched me again.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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