is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
