I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
