I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
