i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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