You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
