Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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