What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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