Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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