hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
