I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
