Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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