I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
