i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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