My sheets look like a crime scene.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
