it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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