i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
