im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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