I wannas sexs uuuuu
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
