Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
