hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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