everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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