he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
