Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My vagina is officially offended.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
