I wish I could teleport
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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