I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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