You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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